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Joke of the Day

"I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said ""Well, that's too bad"""

Next Joke
 
"What do your mom and Jesus have in common? They both got nailed"
"It's funny how red, white and blue represents freedom until its flashing behind you to pull over"
"Quite a few people aren't aware that I studied abroad for a year. Alas, she didn't teach me anything I didn't already know."
"I don't use my power for good or evil. Mainly, I use it to watch TV, microwave food, and charge my phone."
"How many dyslexics does it screw to take in a light bulb?"
"The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have."
"Rum: ""Drink me."" Me: ""No, I'll get a hangover."" Rum: ""Nah, you'll get funnier and better looking!"" Me: ""Really?"" *drinks* Rum: ""Sucker."""
"What is a physicist's favorite cookie? Sig-fig Newtons"
"Tell a girl shes pretty 100 times she wont believe you Tell a girl shes fat once and she'll remember it forever cause elephants never forget"