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Joke of the Day

"How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4. 1 to hold the bulb and 3 to drink until the room spins."

"[Shark Tank] Ok hear me out. -Alright. It's an airplane made out of cats. -But why? It cant crash. Always lands on it's feet. -Please leave."

"What do yu get when you cross a Jew? Christianity."

"The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off"

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti? Haven't these people been put through enough this year?"

"A 4 year old boy examined his testicles... while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet', she replied"

"My girlfriend had a heart to heart conversation with me today. She said she wanted some time and distance. Cool! She must really want to calculate velocity"

"So a guy orders a pizza. . ..they ask him, ""would you like that cut into six pieces or eight? He says, ""Oh, six! I could never eat eight."""

"A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck."

"""You spent hours slaving away in the kitchen yesterday. Relax. Let me sort out dinner today."" *Orders pizza"