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Joke of the Day

"Traffic cop: Just blow into this for me sir. Man in car: But that's a balloon. Traffic cop: if you just cooperate sir, it'll soon be a dog."

"What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him"

"A man walks into a bar.. A man walks into a bar and says: ""Hey bartender! I fucked your mum last night!"" The bartender looks up and replies: ""Fuck off dad, I'm working."""

"Bring back your best yo mama jokes. Yo mama is so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says ""okay!"""

"My mom wanted to send me to a program last summer for people with ADHD... It was called a Concentration Camp."

"According to all these BMI charts... I DEFINITELY need to get taller next year."

"God: ""At least I didn't get FAT."" Buddha: ""At least I didn't get CRUCIFIED."""

"What is the brown sticky stuff between an elephant's toes? Slow natives."

"A black man walks into a bar, with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that?"" ""The jungle."" Replied the parrot."

"GET OVER HERE thunders across the bar as a harpooned rope impales a beautiful girl. The bartender smiles and shakes his head at Scorpion."