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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a faggot to fuck a bitch? You shit in her cunt."

"Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes? The punchline is too long."

"Have u heard of the guy with diarrea I hear he has the shits for you"

"Lead me not into temptation... fcuk that, follow me, I know a shortcut."

"Why did all the gay people in china go out to vote? They thought it was erection day"

"My girlfriend's extremely flexible, which comes in handy for sex. I say, ""when do you wanna have sex?"" and she replies ""I'm free whenever""."

"The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand."

"We should really use the blackjack scale to rate women. For example: ""Every girl here is ugly"" ""Well, what about her? "" ""Eh, she's like a 15 or 16. Not sure if I'd hit it"""

"Cop: Is that a turtle? Me: ... Cop: Painted blue? Me: ... Cop: With nails glued on? Me: ... Cop: Mario Kart's not real Me: YOURE NOT REAL"

"If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling ""IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!"