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Joke of the Day

"How does a mathematician deal with constipation? He works it out with a pencil"

"Why did the magnet go to the psychiatrist? He was bipolar."

"WORM 911: what's ur emergency FLATWORM: I CUT MYSELF BAD WORM 911: u need medical help? FLATWORM: wait, there's 2 of me now. we're good."

"Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage........ I used to shave my privates with one , but I don't have the balls to do that now."

"The orphanage i run, burned down today with the lives of sixty children Thank fuck i don't have to tell their parents ...."

"Usian Bolt's favourite country? I-ran ;)"

"What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits"

"You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale"

"Truth: My 85yr old grandmother's answering machine says, ""I'll call you back when I want to, if I want to."" Heroes are all around us."

"I fell off a 50 foot ladder yesterday. Luckily I was on the bottom step."