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Joke of the Day

"I was going to tell a time travel joke... but you didn't like it."

Next Joke
 
"My lift to work was late to arrive at the train station, so I killed the driver... ...I thought it was fair but some said it was a loco-motive"
"A man walks into a bar... He says ""Ow"""
"What do you call Batman who skips church? Christian Bail"
"What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard? ""The loser was 'thore'"""
"Life tip: do stuff even though it's hard and you suck at it"
"Me: Do you want anything from Chipotle? CW: Yeah....just surprise me. Me: *comes back with no food* SURPRISE!"
"Me, December 2016: I'm going to buy this juicer and lose some weight in January Me, January 2017: I have eaten the juicer"
"Date: So... Tinder, huh? Me: Yup. Date: ... Me: This is kind of awkward. Date: Maybe we should've used real pictures. Me: You think so, MOM?"
"What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? ""Robin, get into the Batmobile..."""