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Joke of the Day

"I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night."

"I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted"

"He's making a list, He's checking it twice. And now I'm falling asleep. And she's calling a cab."

"I set up a life size mousetrap in my front yard, but instead of cheese as bait, I used a fedora. Death toll: 17 hipsters and a curious cat."

"Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said ""pls make the sadness disappear."" LAUGH OUT LOUD"

"Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days."

"Your Momma is so stupid she put sand paper on the bottom of her wheelchair, talk'n bout she a ruff rider."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite flavor of ice cream? Definitely not Chocolate"

"What do you call someone who tells too many lame dinosaur jokes? I dino-bore! . I'm sorry."

"What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon?"