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Joke of the Day

"I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name. I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night."

"A snake walks into a bar ""How did you do that?"""

"My kids are starting to ask questions that I don't know the answers to so I'm going to have to trade them in for dumber models."

"There's no recipe in this world that raisins can't ruin."

"I wish there was some sort of idiom to describe how easily I just took that lollipop from that infant."

"I was out shopping today; guess who asked about you?! Nobody."

"coining ""twoosh"", a contraction of tweet-swoosh. It's when your tweet hits exactly 140 characters sans editing. Nothing but net."

"Q: Why did the fly fly? A: Because the spider spied her."

"YSK: Daylight Savings Time ends tonight, make sure to reset all your clocks. Oops, wrong sub"

"You ever click a link thinking you're going to get a free iPad, but all you get is a million emails? No? Yeah, me either."