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Joke of the Day

"I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past 2 years But no one will take the job"

"[ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup"

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."

"Do you guys know what a minstrel cycle is? A bicycle for musicians."

"The only highlight of a brutal moving day: Wife: ""That's way too big to fit in the back door."" 4 people in unison: ""That's what she said!"""

"If you prefer a particular brand of bottled water, you should be sent away to a special camp."

"Why did hitler kill himself? He looked at the gas bill."

"New Thesaurus I bought a new thesaurus, it's terrible. It's also terrible."

"Why are volcanoes mischievous? Because they erupt to no good."

"What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle."