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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a feminist who loves to swallow? a semenist"

"What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear? A polar bear."

"How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal? handsfree"

"I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him."

"Miss someone? Paint a helium balloon like their face. Deflate it. Put it in your back pocket. They're still gone and that was weird advice."

"Why do Ethiopian women give the best blowjobs? You know they'll swallow"

"Two unconnected vertices? That's where I draw the line."

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me. With just the tip."

"Judging by the covers, every issue of every comic book is the one where the main character dies."

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