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Joke of the Day

"The girl at Starbucks wrote my name as ""Meghen"" like I lay eggs or some shit."

"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coffin?'"

"I thought I liked spheres then I realized they're pointless."

"If I ever lose my phone I want Liam Neeson looking for it"

"Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I."

"My son turns 18 today. I bought him a set of luggage for his birthday. Too forward? Maybe it's too forward."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb. One, but the light bulb has to really want to change."

"Hey girl are you a capri sun? Because i want to stab you."

"Last term, we had our first black president. But if Donald Trump wins... Orange is the New Black."

"What were the Virgin Islands called, after Chuck Norris visited them? The Islands"