62013

Joke of the Day

"Dealer: Anyone follow you dude? Me: just my cat *dealer opens trench coat & my mom jumps out* Mom: why are you using drugs???"

"It's only Ultimate Frisbee if someone dies"

"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"

"What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street? You need to cul de sac."

"What do Nate Diaz and Jaime Lannister have in common? They're both Kingslayers and fuck their sisters."

"Punthagorean Theorem A and B are pretty square, but get to the root of C and you'll find he's always high, pot in use."

"How many polacks does it take to change a light bulb? Just one dumbass."

"Did you hear the one about the crossed eyed teacher? She couldn't keep her Pupils straight"

"My wife told me she accidentally swapped the KY Jelly and the window putty No wonder the windows kept falling out!"

"A termite walked into a bar and asked, ""Is the bartender here?"""