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Joke of the Day

"hmmm this cereal is bland, tasteless, boring, flat, flavorless...*checks box* oh, Synonym Toast Crunch"

"Did you guys know that my son is a really big star? Yup, he's 1.989 x 10^30 kilos and has a diameter of 1.4 million kilometers."

"I asked the lady from the collection agency out on a date. She turned me down, but keeps calling. I told her I'm too old for games."

"Justin Bieber getting tasered would be the most watched YouTube video of all time."

"It's good that we aren't hearing about priests in the news lately. It seems that kids these days are finally learning how to keep a secret."

"What do you call a pack of sorority girls who aren't in law school? Deez hoes ain't lawyers."

"Try to imagine pugs living in the wild, just roaming in the forest in packs."

"Women is born with two vaginas The parents and the doctor thought it was a miracle until poop came out of the second one"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"Number 1 best thing about waterparks: boobs. I'm sure there's a number 2 best thing, but #1 has got me pretty occupied at the moment."