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Joke of the Day

"Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook not everyone wants to see you happy."

"If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes."

"It doesn't matter how hard you think you are. When a toddler hands you their ringing toy cell phone, you'll still answer it."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."

"I don't know what it means to ""find your better half"" but I hope my better half is a robot so that I can be half human half robot."

"Yo mamma Yo momma's so fat, her belt size is ""Equator."""

"When cute black and white bears start communing with spirits, it's pandanormal."

"What do you call a clean Mexican? Spic and span"

"Why did Donald Trump outlaw grated cheese ? So he could make America grate again."

"Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write ""tip jar"" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back."