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Joke of the Day

"A girlfriend and boyfriend are talking... The girl says, ""hey John, how do you spell 'pedophilia?'"" He responds, ""gosh honey, why do you need to know? That's an awfully big word for an 8 year old."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? Cosi has to !"

"Before you decide to tell a woman she should go get herself ""dolled up,"" remember, Annabelle & Chucky are dolls."

"I said to the shoe salesman - I'd like to return these shoes... They've got holes in them! Shoe Salesman - Hmmmm yes, that certainly seems to be the Crocs of the matter."

"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."

"Kills Two mosquitoes with spray. *writes DEADLY ASSASSIN in bio*"

"I did it Reddit! I finally did it! I finally made it to the front page!"

"Debra is short for Debrassiere"

"I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?"

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a chair."