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Joke of the Day

"I still remember what my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket... ""How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?"""

"""Tell me the story behind each of your tattoos."" -No one, ever"

"dad, we have ants on the counter! Hey, some of them are uncles, moms, and dads. (Thanks dad)"

"opinion - 3.14 = onion"

"Your mommas so fat When she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody."

"Stranger:""Your tag is sticking out"" Me:""Does it say size 4?"" Stranger:""Yes it does"" Then don't touch it bitch,it's supposed to stick out"

"a neurology proffeser is doing a lesson about orgasims. .. He asks one of his femal students ""what do you think your asshole is doing when you orgasim"" she replies "" its out playing golf"""

"If you use the iPhone 6 upside down, boom, iPhone 9."

"What did Uranium-238 say to Helium when they first met? IDK"

"Thinking of getting a government grant to study ... Why flies can get in your car so easy, but can't figure out how to escape with all the windows down."