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Joke of the Day
"How do painters stay warm? They add another coat."
Next Joke
"*gets several new followers on Sunday *adds Jesus to resume"
"Donald Trump wrote a lot of books on business Most of them end on chapter 11"
"Your mom and a Volkswagon have something in common They're both 40 times dirtier than advertised."
"What do a piece of tuperware and a walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Instead of smoking cigarettes, switch to hanging just outside an establishment, casually repeating that you want to die."
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? None. The light bulb will change itself when it's ready."
"What do you call a greedy roman god? Jewpiter."
"Today I played dead with my 5yo nephew. He cried for 5 seconds, then grabbed my iPhone and run away."
"I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone."