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Joke of the Day

"Im sorry I yelled ""GARY LIKED STAR WARS EPISODE ONE"" when the pastor asked if anyone knew of a reason why you and Gary shouldn't be married"

"My wife and i lost 150 pounds combined! Shes much prettier without those other 149 weighing her down"

"What is flat, at the center of the universe, and warming?"

"Why is Santa so Jolly? Because he knows where all the Naughty Girls live."

"How do assassins pay for stuff on the internet? hitcoin"

"The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all."

"I swear if my memory gets any worse, I'll be able to plan my own surprise party."

"My wife likes to talk after sex She calls me from the motel"

"Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then"

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."