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Joke of the Day

"They say playing video games is a waste of time, but I credit Tetris for the speed and agility I display when bagging my own groceries."

"What did the slave master say to his slaves when they didn't want to make shoes anymore? ""Just Do It"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cantaloupe ! Cantaloupe who ? Cantaloupe with you tonight !"

"What's long, hard, and fucks old people? Osteoporosis"

"What do you call coffee for jews? Hebrew."

"I'm going to change my name to Benny Fitz...so when people add me on Facebook, it will say;..You are now friends with Benny Fitz."

"Children shouldn't talk to strangers. Not because strangers are dangerous, but because children are incapable of meaningful conversations."

"DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight. PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned. DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?"

"My computer blew up in front of my face. I still can't process why that happened."

"/r/Jokes won the International Green Awards! 96% recycled content."