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Joke of the Day

"Warning, offensive. Why was Hitler so concerned about getting into heaven? Because there were 6 million jews waiting for him in hell."

"I truly believe that there are some people who listen to you when you talk and there's other people who just wait for it to be their turn."

"Finger wager why do women like the oldest men as their gynecologist. (visualize) uncontrollable shaky finger."

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down'."

"Have you heard about the guy who reanimated the dead? He made Mary Shelly roll over in her grave."

"Yo momma Is so fat, that she has her own event horizon!"

"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""

"Why did Snoop Dogg go to Germany? For Schnitzel."

"Sorry I got us kicked out of your niece's dance recital for blowing my airhorn too much"

"So my dad was at the hardware store and asked if I needed anything. I said I was hungry and he said... ""Sure I'll get you some nuts ;)"""