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Joke of the Day

"Why does nobody like tampons? Because they're all stuck up cunts."

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"Apparently the US government has to choose between supporting ISIS and the al-Assad regime... I think that's called getting caught between Iraq and a hard place."

"I'm not afraid of someone who threatens to open up a can of whoopass on me... I'm much more afraid of the people who can the whoopass to begin with."

"A good pun is its groan reward!"

"Our dog is named lucky he often escapes, so we'll be up all night to get lucky"

"Who led the Jewish people through the semi-permeable membrane? Osmoses"

"How do you comfort a grammar nazi? Pat him or her on the back and say, ""Their, they're..."""

"So who WERE Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents, anyway? And why did they let them spend so much time with their insane, pantsless uncle?"

"All I'm saying is that the cheese grater wouldn't have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after EVERY use."