59817

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Chris Brown make any headphones? He definitely knows how to make a good beat. I will show myself out."

"What did the Mexican detective say in England? I'm like Sherlock, holmes."

"I Sir Ender declare war on ... wait wait we surrender"

"*feels painful possible cavity* *eats chocolate to feel better*"

"""Chivalry isn't dead,"" I say, watching one zombie hold the door open for another."

"This forest scent air freshener is really working. Three elk have moved into my living room."

"A wife gets naked ...and asks her husband, 'What turns you on more! my pretty face or my sexy body?' Husband looks her up and down for a moment and replies, 'Your sense of humor.'"

"has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life"

"What's got four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of tree it could kill you? A pool table."

"Do you know the fat catholic woman? [OC] She has mass."