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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"

"I got a new haircut about a week ago. It's starting to grow on me."

"*passive aggressively cuts your birthday cake asymmetrically*"

"Astrophysicists still struggling to explain the Big Bang Theory: ""It's a corny show! We just don't get it!"" said one astrophysicist."

"It hit me as I was taking my kids trick or treating tonight...... I'm lucky it was just a golfcart"

"[hospital] DOCTOR: you're ok ME: so it was just a dream DOCTOR: no your heart did turn into a bowl of cereal but your system is accepting it"

"Every minute arguing semantics on the internet Is exactly 43.56 seconds wasted."

"Question: Why do men always give their penis a name? Answer: Because they don't want a stranger making 95 percent of their decisions for them."

"I love you dude, but im not ""In Prison"" with you."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"