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Joke of the Day
"What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day? He gets thor arms!"
Next Joke
"What was Hitler's favorite food? steamed Franks"
"Who makes the music for the Marvel movies? The Avengers Ensemble."
"I measured my penis today and it said 11.7 inches. Then I realized the ruler was backwards. Credit to /u/TodoJaw21"
"What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander? Hee brew"
"Shrimp Why did the shrimp cross the road? To get to the other tide."
"I put $1 aside every time my girlfriend has sex with me, and that's how much I'll spend for her birthday present So far I'm getting one fancy-ass glove."
"""Should I add more liquor?"" is the most ridiculous question I've ever been asked."
"Apparently when your boss asks if you're on drugs ""which drugs?"" isn't the appropriate response. I know this now."
"What's a knife's favorite dessert? Slice cream."