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Joke of the Day
"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"
Next Joke
"The Proclaimers walked 500 miles without a Fitbit?"
"*pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let's go to the hospital"
"If life were a videogame, what would be the easiest difficulty setting? Straight White Male"
"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."
"We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest."
"What's the difference between a chicken drumstick and a penis? If you answered ""I don't know""? Then would you like to go for a picnic?"
"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense"
"*swallows pride* *reads the label* 'this pride may contain nuts* oh no *swells with pride*"
"I grew a beard thinking it would say ""Distinguished Gentleman."" Instead, turns out it says, ""Senior Discount, Please!"""