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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"

"What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked? He couldn't think of anything, and said ""I'll mullet over"""

"My fine art and fragrances business has failed. The perfumes sold well, but I didn't really know how to market the paintings I'd bought. I've got more Monet than scents"

"The real magic of Christmas is how quickly money vanishes from my wallet."

"Best/worst joke out of a trip through Germany ""Knock Knock"" ""who's there"" ""brat"" ""brat who?"" ""bratwurst"""

"Queen Elizabeth's horse tested positive for morphine and a mix of other powerful drugs. Sources say the queen is in denial. She thinks someone confused her horse's urine sample with Prince Harry's."

"What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas? ...Baaaaaahumbug"

"FB post from HS friend on pic: My boyfriend is such a dreamboat! My comment: So was the Titanic."

"Going out with two gay men tonight; I know they're my competition, but I've seen them consume bananas and I think I can take them."

"How much do pirates charge for piercings? A buck an ear."