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Joke of the Day

"My wife likes to talk after sex.. So she called me from a hotel room. No Respect! RIP Rodney Dangerfield"

"Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal."

"What do you call a techno-themed grocery store? Gigi D'Agostino"

"A terrible plane crash occurred in Lithuania last week. A two-seater airplanecrash landed in a cemetery and exploded. They've recovered 300 bodies so far,and they're still digging them up."

"*hits bong* *abuses bong* *bong calls bong protection agency* *bong custody taken* *bong put in foster home* *bong misses old life*"

"What does a Chicago cop say after emptying his clip into a fleeing suspect? ""Stop. Police."""

"I wonder if the Pope has any pets... Yeah they are called altar boys."

"Son: Mom, how was I born? Mom: Well son, it all started when I asked the wrong man for directions."

"A Russian wife goes to police station. Russian Wife: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet. Russian Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?"

"I just love that new Pope smell."