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Joke of the Day
"I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."
Next Joke
"Girl seeing my torn jeans Where'd you get those?! *remembers trying to pee on a hill & stumbling backwards through thorn bushes* The Gap."
"Why is Harry Potter so popular in prison? Because he catches all the snitches!"
"Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie."
"Why don't oysters like to share? Because they're shellfish."
"*phone rings* Wife: ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me (a dad): ""Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you."" Wife: ""...."""
"I got caught sniffing underwear... I got caught sniffing my friend's sister's underwear the other day, What made it worse was she was still wearing them, Made the rest of her funeral really awkward."
"A friend asked me what's my best American impression... ""I don't want to go to the doctor because it's too expensive."""
"Did you hear Charlie Sheen has HIV? He thinks he got it after sleeping with two and a half men."
"Roses are Red, Violets are blue... ""Gorilla shot at Cincinnati Zoo."""