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Joke of the Day

"I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

"I just bought a new computer... When i turned it on, instead of saying ""Welcome"", it said "" Hello"". It's a Dell."

"All the kids had a name except"

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't like things as much as I do."

"When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face..."

"""What'd you do today"" ""Went on a treasure hunt"" ""I hope you mean job hunt"" ""Treasure hunt"" ""You need to find a job"" ""Not if I find treasure"""

"Some people have 32 teeth while others have 10... It's simple meth."

"""If a Groundhog emerges from this hole wearing too much eye shadow, its grounded for 6 weeks for being a whore""--Groundhog dad"

"This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob"