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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins bakes in an oven... Then one of them says "" Damn it's hot in here!"" Then the other screams... "" AAARGH!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"""

"I think I wasted my 15 minutes of fame trying to save money on car insurance."

"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle, and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire."

"What's a calender's favorite fruit? Dates."

"A dentist goes to another dentist to fix a cavity. When his dentist started to explain the procedure, he stopped him and said, ""Don't worry, I know the drill."""

"I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Just kidding... He hasn't unwrapped his present yet"

"Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy. Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control."

"Why'd the air resistance committed suicide? Because he's always being neglected"

"Cute names to call your girlfriend with 1.sugar 2.honey 3.flour 4.egg 5.1/2 lb butter 6.stir 7.pour into pan 8.preheat to 375"