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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic? Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"I told my 2-year-old to find her shoes She cupped her hands & yelled ""Shoes, where are you?"" I'd help her, but I want to see if this works"

"GOOD NEWS... If you make minimum wage you don't have to pay income tax or eat."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? It's me Mario!"

"When she screams ""deeper!""... But you're all out of poems."

"Friends don't let friends make Harlem Shake' videos..."

"What do you call a chicken without feathers? Dinner!"

"Friend- ""You're drunk."" Me- *mocking voice* ""You're drunk."" Friend- ""Stop."" Me- *morphs into clone of friend* ""Stop."""

"Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks? So his boss doesn't have to retrain him."

"Asked my friend what's he's going to wear for Halloween... ""Probably a condom."""