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Joke of the Day
"So a termite walks into a bar... And he sits down and says, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""
Next Joke
"I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart"
"How do you get an 80 year-old woman to swear? How do you get an 80 year-old woman to yell ""F*ck""? You get another 80 year-old woman next to her to yell ""BINGO"""
"My daughter just said, ""Daddy, you're good looking & not fat like other dads."" She's only 10, but we're headed to the BMW dealership now."
"Even in a suit, Matthew McConaughey looks like he's just been rescued after two weeks lost in the desert."
"[ during job interview ] - ""Why do you think you would make a good asset to our team?"" - ""I give up, why?"""
"What's the difference between r/jokes and your mom's vagina? Your mother's vagina gets some new content every once in a while."
"My wife said she's had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up. So I just packed my bags and right."
"What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato? The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics."
"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim, denim, denim. edit: (works best if said out loud)"