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Joke of the Day

"I had a cold so I stopped by the drug store. I asked for some vitamin C. The Spanish pharmacist said ""Si'"" I said ""Yes, C"" And that is how the fight got started."

"If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap."

"How do you keep water warn in the winter? Have it wear an aqua-fur."

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Cecil sleeps forever."

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I hope he means well..."

"If I had a dollar for every woman that thought I was ugly... Eventually they wouldn't think I was ugly."

"What did your last slave die of? A perforated colon."

"Not all men just want a relationship for sex. Some want their ironing done too."

"Tasted the best Borscht ever! It'll be hard to beet."

"What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan? Not being from Detroit."