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Joke of the Day

"What's wrong with the phrase ""War on Drugs""? Wars end."

"I opened a company.... for guys with erectile dysfunction because I felt sorry for them. Now they all want a bloody raise."

"Before handing your wallet and wife's necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman."

"I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations. It's called ""Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"""

"I have a little joke that always makes women laugh My penis"

"I can't fall asleep right now, I'm too busy counting how many hours of sleep I will get if I fall asleep right now."

"Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit."

"What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night? Your head."

"I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks. So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!"

"My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he's finished."