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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass!"
Next Joke
"Someone tried to tell me a joke in real life and it went on and on and on for like 3 sentences."
"Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife is kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney."
"Want to meet up so I can excite your natural frequency?"
"I was always a home builder but lately I've developed an apartment complex."
"My Dad always worked really hard to be able to put dinner on the table for his family. And still my Mam moaned because he couldn't afford to buy plates. That table was ruined."
"Well there's definitely one word I can't use to describe Tom Brady's ego... Inflated."
"Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself."
"What do you call a security blanket for a mentally handicapped person? A downs comforter."
"Life in 1914-1945 Europe must have been hard. All those geopolitical events and no TV shows to compare them to"