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Joke of the Day

"A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it."

"My Clothes Dryer sounds like Zoidberg. wub wub wub wub wub wub...."

"If 9/11 was an inside job... 5/11 was a Fawkes Guy job"

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"

"Mirror mirror on the wall, am I the fairest of them all? No, but you've got an amazing ass!"

"Honey I won the Lottery. Overly exuberant husband came home. ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" Wife; ""Where are we going?"". Husband; ""We are not going anywhere - get the fuck out!"""

"#BPMovies 20,000 Leaks Under the Sea."

"Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this."

"What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training? Well done."

"Tarzan walk into his wife making dolma.. He then shouts: How many times I told you not to touch my underwear?!?!"