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Joke of the Day

"We need to make music cool again people. If you go home with someone and they have a Justin Bieber CD in their music collection, don't fcuk them."

"what is a painfully loud color? YELLOW!!"

"A comedian committed suicide today... Took a knife straight to the jocular vein."

"My decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after I die, my husband can't get laid."

"When in Rome... Crucify Jesus"

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"

"Ear wax is disgusting. But when you're out of Vegemite, you're out of Vegemite."

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"If there's something strange, in your neighborhood, Who ya gonna call? GEORGE ZIMMERMAN"