5632

Joke of the Day

"Do you know how to keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season"

"If a stork brings a white baby and a crow brings a black baby, what brings no baby? A swallow"

"20 years ago my parents had a traffic accident... and that was the day I was born"

"I just forked over $5,000 for a reincarnation seminar I figured what the hell you only live once."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But why are you walking around giving men fish? That's weird, dude."

"I can make you speak even MORE Irish. Say this five times fast: ""Your fork can eat jet."""

"Ok, don't let them know you're a puma Interviewer: We're very impressed! You've got the job! ""REALLY!?! I'M SO HAPPY I JUST PUMA PANTS"""

"Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia? He sold his soul to Santa."

"[Desert island] Me: JANE! Jane: What? M: It's a boat! J: HEEEEEEEEELP! Me writing: Day 286, Jane is still scared of boats"