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Joke of the Day

"I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours"

"March Into Battle by Sally Forth"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she."

"I have a stepladder... ...because my real ladder left when I was a kid."

"[after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread."

"I was loving the song with the great beat in the lunchroom at work today when I realized it was the dishwasher running. It's great to be me."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing except for saran wrap... The psychiatrist looks at the man and says, ""Well... I can clearly see you're nuts."""

"I turn the radio down when I drive by cops so there's no evidence of fun."

"Whats the sickest piece of art? Pneumonia Lisa"

"I sent a new girl I'm seeing a picture of my buddy Richard in the middle of the night She didn't appreciate an unsolicited Dick pic..."