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Joke of the Day

"U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months"

"*runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok"

"Anyone watch story on the news about the corduroy pillows? It's making all the headlines."

"This morning I made my coffee with an energy drink instead of water. Fifteen minutes on the highway later I realized I forgot my car in the garage."

"What happened when Bluto went to Mount Olive? Popeye got pissed"

"An Old German Visits the Doctor. His doctor comes into the room with a frown on his face, and tells him he has Lung Cancer. ""Well,"" the German says, ""I did Nazi that coming."""

"So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??"

"How to discipline your rock *you hit rock bottom*"

"Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family."

"Today my 6 yr. old nephew asked my what ""gay"" meant. It wouldn't have bothered me so bad, but it was right after he saw me throw a baseball."