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Joke of the Day

"Getting a text message from your ex is like getting a message from Satan on an Ouija board."

"Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion."

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"What do you call a duck that likes to steal? A Robber Ducky!"

"Just realized all my tweets are about my genitals . Time to change the subject. Do you believe in aliens ? If so , do they have genitals?"

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."

"Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol"

"Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss."

"What did the poor ghetto dweller get for Christmas? Your bicycle."

"your mama so fat that when she wanted a water bed they had to put a cover over the Atlantica Ocean."