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Joke of the Day

"[at Red Lobster] WAITRESSES: *run toward me* ME: Red Lobster! WAITRESSES: *stop* ME: Green Lobster! WAITRESSES: *run* MANAGER: Okay, SIR..."

"What do you call a smart blonde? A labrador"

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border."

"What do you call a teenage girl that doesn't masturbate? A liar. Post your jokes you wouldn't tell your mother."

"My wife caught me crossdressing. So I packed her things and left."

"I saw a play that had King Midas meeting Oedipus. It was pure motherfucking gold."

"Man arrested on charges of being nice, quiet guy. ""I'm shocked, he always seemed like such a murderous asshole,"" said a neighbor."

"What do you call a black detective? Sherlock Homie"

"I just found out that I'm colorblind It really came out of the purple!"

"The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral."