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Joke of the Day

"I've discovered the best way to punish 17, is to put on the same outfit as her, then follow her around all day yelling out ""TWINSIES!"""

"Two fish are in a tank One of them says ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Cute valentine joke - What's the difference between woman's face and ass? - None. You can fuck both."

"When the only light in your world is suddenly gone ...it's time to recharge your phone."

"Hey Google, if I'm searching for ""herpes symptoms"" then no, no I'm not ""feeling lucky."""

"I had an epiphany, every sentence is an innuendo, if I think long and hard about it."

"Lambs: ""BAAAAAAAAA!!!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhhhh!"" Lambs: ""Baaaa!"" Hannibal Lecter: ""Shhhh..."" Lambs: ""..."" Hannibal Lecter: ""Much better."""

"How can you tell if a black girl is pregnant? You stick a chicken wing up her vagina and it comes out clean."

"That Gorilla from Ohio.... and the small black boy. Utter mismatch. James vs. Curry"

"The self checkout lane was probably invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons."