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Joke of the Day

"These Mexican cannibals accidentally... These Mexican cannibals accidentally kill a priest for their meal. One of the guys asks the cook ""ay, what's for dinner?"" The cook says ""tacos al pastor"""

"THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: ""Mphh mophh wampph."" T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch."

"Woman: Guys who can't make me orgasm really rub me the wrong way."

"Open bottle, allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth -Beer"

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn."

"Why can't an angle lease an apartment alone? Because he has to cosign"

"A man was about to jump off a cliff... ...and before he jumped he said, ""I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"" I think he took a leap of faith."

"My grandfather always said, ""Be envied, not envious."" I wish I'd thought of that quote."

"Me: *does interpretative dance Translator: *does translation dance Chief: *does interpretative dance Translator: *does translation dance"

"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard"