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Joke of the Day

"Galactus is about to eat our solar system when he flips over the label WARNING: CONTAINS MERCURY ""No thanks, I'll eat something else."""

"I can't remember my memory ever being this good I think"

"If I die, I'm gonna kill myself. I just couldn't live without me."

"Her: Wasn't it fun cutting down our own Christmas tree? Me: Yea, especially when that guy chased us out of his yard..."

"What do Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney have in common? Both shot someone in the face while in office."

"Marines Lock a Marine in a room with 4 bowling balls. He'll lose one, break one, and one will be on fire. The other one is pregnant."

"I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long."

"Whats black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron!"

"What do you call hiding in a Michael Bay movie? Kabamouflage"

"A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says ""Have you got anything to declare?"" He thinks a second and he says ""It's a nice-a day!"""