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Joke of the Day
"[lifts $1000 apple watch to my face] Wrist computer: show me where hot dogs are."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between an epileptic oysterman and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits..."
"What's the longest Island in New York? Long Island."
"What do you call cheap circumcision? A ripoff."
"My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I'll be able to do karate if I'm ever in a fight."
"Mickey Mouse's lawyer calls... ...And tells him, ""Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because shes 'crazy'"" and Mickey responds, ""I didn't say she was crazy, i said she was fucking goofy!"""
"Dyslexic's of the world... ...untie!"
"Just bought a new disposable razor. Or a spaceship."
"A Spanish magician says he can make himself disappear on the count of 3 Uno, dos... Suddenly the magician disappears without a tres."
"Today's kids play TSA agent instead of doctor."