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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber."

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"Confidence should never be confused with arrogance. Arrogance is spelled way differently."

"so i was walking down the street and this homeless guy was like ""hey! give me ten dollars."" and i was like ""got change for $100"""

"What do you call a fight in Mexico? A Juan on Juan."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you fucking racist!"

"A man has a sore throat and goes to the doctor... Doctor: ""Your tonsils gotta come out."" Patient: ""I want a second opinion!"" Doctor: ""Okay, I don't like your haircut."""

"Do you know why sharks don't eat clowns? They taste funny."

"So this blonde walks in to a computer store... ... and says to the employee; have you got any curtains? Employee says; um no sorry this is a computer store Blonde; duhh, I have windows."

"Why does Snoop Dogg always carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle."