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Joke of the Day

"Brooklyn When you go to Brooklyn always bring a camera, because there are many things in Brooklyn that you will see, then never see again in your life... Starting with that camera."

"""Dayyuuuum Giiiiirrrl... Did you fall from Heaven?"" *pokes body with stick*"

"What's a Californians favorite type of comedy? Dry humor"

"My jokes are still in alpha. Hopefully soon they'll get beta."

"What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition? Financial Ayyyyyyd I'll^see^myself^out"

"My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets."

"When you are trying to get out of the aisle at the movies, and you have to pass by people, do you give them the nut or the butt?"

"Me: [sneaks off to lay by pool cuz kids are finally playing] 7yo: HERE I AM MOMMY SO YOU DON'T HAFTA BE ALONE Me: [sigh] Thanks bud."

"How do you play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time your girlfriend goes to the bathroom, take two shots"

"My friend told me I didn't understand irony Which was ironic considering we were stood at a bus stop at the time."