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Joke of the Day

"Court decision: ""I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair...... ....what happens next will shock you."""

"I'd write a book on parenting but it'd probably just end up being full of cocktail recipes."

"What do get when you cross a Jehovah's witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who knocks on your front door and tells you to piss off."

"I asked my masseuse if it was unusual to get an erection during a massage... the masseuse replied, ""not at all it happens all the time."" So i said, ""well do you mind keeping it out of my face."""

"Hey person who wrote ""WASH ME"" on my car, I know it wasn't my car that wrote that. My car doesn't speak English. I'm onto you."

"How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode."

"I saw a guy wearing a stovepipe hat the other day... ...so I said, ""Hey! Abraham Lincoln called and he wants..."" Then I realized, they didn't have phones in the mid 1800s."

"Two old woman were sitting on a park bench A naked man with a fully erect penis walked past. One of the ladies had a heart attack, the other had a stroke."

"My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend. But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences."

"The people on the internet are so friendly.... One guy called me bro, and he even said my story was cool."