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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to tell you a joke about selfishness. But I'll keep this one for myself."

"My staircase was getting a lot of buzz, then it blew up It's gone spiral"

"Don't you hate when someone without kids tells you how to parent? I think I know how much alcohol my kids can handle."

"I didn't spend 8 years designing this hotel so I could listen to a bunch of touristy complaints about the small cameras inside the toilets."

"What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk. Because it's pasteurised before you see it."

"The trouble with jokes about herbal tea... Is that you can see the punchline camomile away."

"Cashier at McDonalds said ""See you later"" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch."

"Scientists Have Captured the Sound One Atom Makes and what did the atom say? ""Does it really matter we make up everything."""

"What's the ultimate rejection? When you masturbate and your hand falls asleep."

"[painting a picture of the last supper] ""Who's that?"" ""Darth Vader."" ""Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?"" ""I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."""