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Joke of the Day
"""Newt Gingrich"" sounds like the name of a villain that JK Rowling made up."
Next Joke
"Why are the mountains in Switzerland called ""the Alps""? Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!"
"A guy's ego."
"There is a bible book all about beer... Its called Hebrews"
"I want to be as annoying as a vegetarian but still eat meat so I'm telling people I only eat chicken. I'm calling myself a ""poultrivore""."
"Just ordered Chinese food from a place called Magic Wok. In the 'additional notes' I said ""pls make the sadness disappear."" LAUGH OUT LOUD"
"When you sit next to a talker at the movies you're allowed to hit them in the face and move seats. It's in the ticket fine print."
"What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee"
"Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak."
"Cop: ""Can you describe the person who robbed you?"" Me: ""He had on a black shirt and hat with a green apron and charged me $6 for coffee"""