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Joke of the Day
"Why did Anthony Kiedis cross the road? To get to the Otherside."
Next Joke
"i microwaved an apple to see what would happen but nothing happend and now i just have a really warm apple i don't know what i was expecting"
"I just got a bunch of cool apps and games for my Windows Phone"
"Once in a lifetime holiday ""I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."" -Tim Vine"
"A pond would tell you about introspection if it wasn't so busy self-reflecting."
"How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping? They SETI their alarm-y"
"Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down."
"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness... ...and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""
"When people show me pictures of their kids I show them pictures of my exes. If I have to look at their mistakes, they have to look at mine."
"What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it."