52054

Joke of the Day

"""RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"" ""Kraken's not here."" ""What? Ugh! What can we release?"" ""Gary's here."" ""Gary?! Dammit! Fine... RELEASE THE GARY!"""

"Nickelback jokes are the Nickelback of jokes."

"Hey baby, I know I've got an STD, but all I need is U to be a STUD"

"Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her b-shells."

"So I got a little drunk last night. I was out on my porch yelling ""Get off of my lawn!"" at my wife's yard gnomes."

"How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? YOU DON'T KNOW MAN!!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!"

"I just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move."

"Miley Cyrus's VMA preformance... Was so classless Karl Marx came in his grave"

"I entered a contest to win a set of really nice vegetable knives ...but no dice."

"It must be garbage truck mating season, judging from the sounds outside."